Okay well, only 11 ways. But hopefully these examples of things that not only fail to turn your brand’s fans from like to love, but cause them to cool on you altogether, can serve as nice little spot checks to make sure your social marketing campaign is on track and you have your customers foremost in mind when doing your community manager thing.
1. Keep Them Guessing
Start a social stream, sweep fans off their feet with content, then suddenly vanish for half a month. They’ll move on and quickly forget you. Plus that’s hardly any way to show up in News Feeds.
2. Be Obtuse
Apart from my just wanting to use the word “obtuse,” this means cramming your tweets with as many tags, links, hashtags, and hieroglyphic symbols as you can. You think you’re Twitter savvy, they don’t know what you’re trying to say.
3. Ignore Them
If they interact or reach out to you at all, that’s a really big deal. You should be doing flips. Ignoring their gesture or not responding to their interaction until 2 weeks later is a fantastic way to foster hostility.
4. Bore Them Stupid
Ever been on a date where the other person talked endlessly and managed to not even touch on a single topic you cared about? Yeah, don’t do that with your content.
5. And You Are…?
Don’t get or pay attention to any analytics. Don’t try to find out who your fans are, where they are, or what they like. Or, if you do know what they like, do just the opposite. It’s a great way to prove over and over to them you couldn’t care less.
6. Show No Effort
Make posts and tweets like, “So…anybody try our new candy yet?” Nothing makes a fan feel special more than getting an obligatory post that sounds like it was made on your phone as you were walking to your car to get your weekend started.
7. Lie to Them
You silver-tongued smoothie. Just keep putting up those misleading headlines or links to things that violate their expectations. It’s a real trust-builder. And while you’re at it, throw some unrelated trending hashtags into your tweets to trick people into seeing you.
8. Come Across as Desperate and Needy
Who isn’t drawn to that? In every Facebook post and every tweet, make sure you’re pushing your product hard and asking if they love you yet.
9. Expect Too Much Too Soon
It’s very important that if you aren’t being Liked by thousands and they aren’t commenting and sharing your content in droves, you start resenting them and abandon your efforts to connect with them. Just be sure to blame it on them and not you.
10. Don’t Care How You Look
Let your Timeline go. Don’t give yourself an attractive cover photo. Make sure your profile picture is nice and bland. And don’t post many photos or videos…let’s see lots of text.
11. Insist the Relationship Be All About You
Think about your needs and wants first. Remember, this relationship is not about making sure the other person is happy and fulfilled, it’s about getting what you want out of it. Make sure everything is done your way and happens on your terms.
These are just a few of the ways (in fact, there probably are at least 50) you can make your brand and the content you’re putting out on your social streams as undesirable as possible to customers looking for a relationship in which they’re appreciated, thought about, cared about, and faithfully attended to.